All Hope Is Gone

Was there an election on ??




Lol jk, I know there was
Speaking of which.Bandwagons are still shit, stop making them.

Well Fuck.Me.Sideways.

I woke up this morning to a few angry texts about some group of peoples called the Conservatories that had won some house on this game show thingy, where the three finalists had to stand facing each other for 3 x 90 minute job interviews and try to send each other into fits of uncontrollable rages and/or tears.
*Gets someone who knows about politics to help write the blog*

Right, where were we ??
Oh yeah, The Conservative party, led by the Eton tutored Toff David William Donald "just call me Dave" Cameron, and that odious little cretin George Osbourne win 307 seats, which, in Lay mans terms (I only just found out what that meant last night) is "a decent amount". As opposed to what they needed to win the election outright, which (again in laymans terms) could only be described as "a shitload."
And now this leads us to the hung Parliament which we have now.
No clear leader. No single policies set out.No hope.
Or so it seems....
The Liberal Democrats have failed to capitalise on their "Cleggmania" and fucked that up royally, to the point where they lost seats. Hahahaha.Fuckwits. So now they are in bed with Mr Cameron (not a nice thought is it.)
To stop this being a political narrative, I'll explain the jist/gist of the election in bullet points :

• Tories are now sucking Lib Dem dick to try to get their majority.
• If they do, the Tories will get into power.
• Tories = bad.
• Gordon Brown = good.
• Thatcher = Cunt.
• E = Mc2.

If people are yet to understand my glaring contempt of the Conservatives. I will explain it in these very handy bullet points :

• I'm from Blyth, a former mining town
• Thatcher bent the mining towns over a table and fucked them till every good, hard working bloke was out of a job.
• Thatcher was a tory.
• And a cunt.
• The Conservatives generally look after the middle classes upwards.And I'm poor.

BAD TORIES!!!! (have I not made this clear??)
Yes, I know Cameron isn't Thatcher, but at the same time, he's a fucking close comparison these days. As he allegedly "Admired her handling of the Unions." Bad omens.
Oh, and here's a good little story for you's.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/8118468.Cameron_says_state_spending_must_be_cut_in_North_East/

Oh well, it's all in the past now, chances are, a Conservative government is imminent. I could not do anything myself, seeing as how ;
A- I'm not old enough to vote, and
B - My constituency is so solidly Labour you could put a red rosette on David Cameron himself and he'd win it for Labour (this may explain my staunch Labour-ism, if there is such a word)
I think we're about finished here kiddies.
I'll just sum it up with an opinion on Mr Cameron, and indeed, ALL politicians. It is a lyric taken from the song which this blog is named after
"A broken promise is as good as a lie." Corey Taylor - 2008
Till then,
The Country's not a shit place, but under a Tory government, it will be. CAW xx