3 Jagerbombs.
A small week of drinking by my now high standards. But then again, I was designated "Walker home" by my girlfriends 6ft 4, brick shithouse father. So who am I to disagree ??
An eventful weekend was capped off by hearing that a good friend of mine had dropped trow in front of traffic and mooned some policemen. Scott Dunn, be proud of yourself, I sure as hell am. Krash - a pretty awesome place if I'm honest, and I had a rather good time there. Still, nothing compare to the fun I had going to Newburn with my girlfriend, which took about twice as long as it was meant to. Still, I enjoyed cycling 20 miles (there and back) to basically have a picnic in the freezing cold. Because it was in the best of company. Seriously, I might take the piss out of her, might "be mean to her" and might annoy her more than she ever thought possible, but if anyone ever hurt her whilst she was with me, I'll kill them and make it look like an accident.
Which reminds me of another small rant I have to go about. What kind of friend deletes, blocks and generally cuts someone out of their life without giving a reason, I mean seriously, it's fucking cowardice. I'm aware this happened several months ago now, but I'm still a tad angry at the callousness of what this person did. Regardless of their intentions, I deserved an explanation.
Tonight's Halloween, or as I like to call it "Legal Paedophilia day" fortunately I have gotten around the annoying idea of kids knocking at my door, I've removed it from it's hinges. Checkmate you little fuckers.
Today I came home, and watched Newcastle stuff the great unwashed. Personally I'm now looking forward to Toms newest blog :)
I also would like to clarify that when Blyth aren't playing, I support Newcastle. If they both played on a Saturday, I would be looking for Blyths result on the forum, Blyths result on Final Score, or be coming home from Croft Park talking about the result. However when the teams play on different days, I can happily look for both scores. Glad I cleared that up for you all.
Oh and one more thing, I think I'm going to my first Blyth match of the season next week, finally. I've not had time to get around to go to one, God knows I've missed the terraces.
Cancer Bats on Sunday, this may be my last blog post, as I will probably die there. Leave my body to medical science, to see if you can extract pure evil from a body.
Let's do this shit. CAW xx
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Saturday, 23 October 2010
My Last Serenade
Well, yesterday was epic.
9 Jack Daniels and Coke (One of which was bought for me by a beaten Tory, geddin)
7 shots of Jack Daniels, straight.
4 shots of Jagermeister
1 shot of Tequila (ergh)
and a Jagerbomb.
Ultimately resulting in me drinking my weeks worth of alcohol within a 12 hour space. Yet I was still unable to fall into a beautiful drunken stupour.
Brens 18th last night was just utter carnage from start to finish.
From me extending my winless run at pool to seeing Rainbows penis, the entire night was one of drunken teenage debauchery. Which I loved.
Whilst on the road trip up to Berwick, we witnessed first hand the de-flowering of Whiskey drinking for Lewis Stephenson. One which resulted in a hilarious coughing fit in the back of a tightly packed Renault Megane.
Once in the land of the sweaty socks I was struck by an overwhelming urge to open up the Jager, which I did, and being the kind hearted individual that I am *Cough* I decided to share it out with everyone, which basically set the ball rolling for a pretty heavy night of drinking on my account.
The key events of the night included
In the meantime, I suppose I'll just continue drinking my own body weight in Jack Daniels until my liver just says "Fuck this" and packs in
Let's do this shit. CAW XX
9 Jack Daniels and Coke (One of which was bought for me by a beaten Tory, geddin)
7 shots of Jack Daniels, straight.
4 shots of Jagermeister
1 shot of Tequila (ergh)
and a Jagerbomb.
Ultimately resulting in me drinking my weeks worth of alcohol within a 12 hour space. Yet I was still unable to fall into a beautiful drunken stupour.
Brens 18th last night was just utter carnage from start to finish.
From me extending my winless run at pool to seeing Rainbows penis, the entire night was one of drunken teenage debauchery. Which I loved.
Whilst on the road trip up to Berwick, we witnessed first hand the de-flowering of Whiskey drinking for Lewis Stephenson. One which resulted in a hilarious coughing fit in the back of a tightly packed Renault Megane.
Once in the land of the sweaty socks I was struck by an overwhelming urge to open up the Jager, which I did, and being the kind hearted individual that I am *Cough* I decided to share it out with everyone, which basically set the ball rolling for a pretty heavy night of drinking on my account.
The key events of the night included
- Me falling asleep with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my arm.
- Headbanging with my mates
- Reminiscing about old First School chicken curry
- playing acoustic guitar whilst my friends sang beside me, campfire style, except without the paedophilia
- and finally, gang -raping the birthday boy himself whilst shirtless.
In the meantime, I suppose I'll just continue drinking my own body weight in Jack Daniels until my liver just says "Fuck this" and packs in
Let's do this shit. CAW XX
Friday, 15 October 2010
Sometime Around Midnight.
So here I sit, with my Jack Daniels and Coke in one hand, my smartprice pot noodle avec bread billowing steam which almost seems to sway upwards to the slow drumbeat of the Airbourne Toxic Event's melancholy masterpiece "Sometime Around Midnight." As I slowly scroll through the blogs I wrote under the pseudonym of the Seventeen Year Old Cynic having a sly chuckle to myself every few seconds or so I suddenly have the sudden realisation.
My life is fucking awesome.
Whilst my old blog would have made no attempt to justify this rare showing of optomism and happiness due to the fact I would have referred to this happy version of myself as a "Stupid fucking cunt", this new blog (Aptly named the ramblings of a drunken madman) shall be my attempt to show people that I am not just a foul mouthed socialist bastard. There is actually emotion to the seemingly mindless blogs which I post.
The last few weeks have seen me turn from a boy into a man, according to the law. I personally see myself still as the juvenile imbecile who has unfortunately turned himself into the class clown for others gain and ultimately, his own downfall. I am making the conscious effort to become work-orientated, but this has not been helped by the fact I now have the temptation of being able to go to the local pub/club/space bar for a quick Jack & Coke. What I would not give to be able find the sudden and resounding urge to finally pick up a textbook rather than crack a funny, sit back in my seat, put my feet on the table, headphones in, world out. And hope for the best come January.
This has ultimately been caused by the startling discovery that I have just sauntered through my education for the last 4 years. I have relied upon my natural intelligence, sat back and became the joker, confidently expecting the good grades come August time, and usually becoming pretty damn depressed at the final outcomes. The fear that I may not be going to a decent university is a pretty damn possible outcome..
***MY GLASS IS EMPTY, PLEASE TAKE 30 SECONDS BREAK WHILST I REFILL***
Where was I ? Oh yes, potentially fucking up the rest of my life...
The work starts now. Simples (As everyones favourite communist Meerkat would say)
In the meantime, I will have the odd drink here and there, when every bit of work is finished (give or take a few non-essential bits). After all, I got so much drink for my 18th (which was two weeks ago, thanks for asking) it would be a shame to waste a litre of 50% Vodka, and bottle of Apple Sourz, 2 Litres of Jack, and a bottle of Jagermeister. Which reminds me...
Thank you for everyone who came to my 18th, I got so incredibly rat-arsed and I couldn't have done it without my closest friends beside me.
In other news, I have a small, friendly bet with Shannon Atkins, if I can go a week without "Tory-Bashing" she owes me a Jack and Coke. This will be tough, and most of my friends are judging me given the fact I'm holding back my views to the point where I will probably have an aneurysm. But the pride at stake will be even more, as I will have had a drink bought for me by a beaten conservative.
For those who are still clueless to the latest direction of my blog. I will be literally whatever is on my mind, from whatever viewpoint I am feeling, posted whenever I have the urge to blog. However it will still be posted on the Friday or the Saturday.
Sentiments aside, let's do this shit. CAW
My life is fucking awesome.
Whilst my old blog would have made no attempt to justify this rare showing of optomism and happiness due to the fact I would have referred to this happy version of myself as a "Stupid fucking cunt", this new blog (Aptly named the ramblings of a drunken madman) shall be my attempt to show people that I am not just a foul mouthed socialist bastard. There is actually emotion to the seemingly mindless blogs which I post.
The last few weeks have seen me turn from a boy into a man, according to the law. I personally see myself still as the juvenile imbecile who has unfortunately turned himself into the class clown for others gain and ultimately, his own downfall. I am making the conscious effort to become work-orientated, but this has not been helped by the fact I now have the temptation of being able to go to the local pub/club/space bar for a quick Jack & Coke. What I would not give to be able find the sudden and resounding urge to finally pick up a textbook rather than crack a funny, sit back in my seat, put my feet on the table, headphones in, world out. And hope for the best come January.
This has ultimately been caused by the startling discovery that I have just sauntered through my education for the last 4 years. I have relied upon my natural intelligence, sat back and became the joker, confidently expecting the good grades come August time, and usually becoming pretty damn depressed at the final outcomes. The fear that I may not be going to a decent university is a pretty damn possible outcome..
***MY GLASS IS EMPTY, PLEASE TAKE 30 SECONDS BREAK WHILST I REFILL***
Where was I ? Oh yes, potentially fucking up the rest of my life...
The work starts now. Simples (As everyones favourite communist Meerkat would say)
In the meantime, I will have the odd drink here and there, when every bit of work is finished (give or take a few non-essential bits). After all, I got so much drink for my 18th (which was two weeks ago, thanks for asking) it would be a shame to waste a litre of 50% Vodka, and bottle of Apple Sourz, 2 Litres of Jack, and a bottle of Jagermeister. Which reminds me...
Thank you for everyone who came to my 18th, I got so incredibly rat-arsed and I couldn't have done it without my closest friends beside me.
In other news, I have a small, friendly bet with Shannon Atkins, if I can go a week without "Tory-Bashing" she owes me a Jack and Coke. This will be tough, and most of my friends are judging me given the fact I'm holding back my views to the point where I will probably have an aneurysm. But the pride at stake will be even more, as I will have had a drink bought for me by a beaten conservative.
For those who are still clueless to the latest direction of my blog. I will be literally whatever is on my mind, from whatever viewpoint I am feeling, posted whenever I have the urge to blog. However it will still be posted on the Friday or the Saturday.
Sentiments aside, let's do this shit. CAW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)