Who the fuck can we believe in these days ?

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The Borderline Anorexic Blog of the Year - 2011

Hello, good evening and welcome to the first blog I've wrote in about 6 months. And I'll show you how my writing style has progressed to one of an eloquent academic...........Nah, like fuck ! I still curse, drink and offend like I've always done. And I can only hope that it is still appreciated by readers who've been observing one mans slow self destruction via social networking. In the meantime I'm going to have a bit of a rant about what went on this year. And the fact that I've went from a cynic to someone who appears to have given up finding the intelligence of the average human being, but I guess that's what Tumblr does to you, although that's a different story.

January
Was pretty much a blur for me, (And no, not related to alcohol) in that I literally couldn't give a fuck about went on. Tried researching it but it turns out the early months of a yearare about as interesting as an Brothel in a Convent. The Arab spring started with Tunisian market vendor Mohamed Bouazizi sending a statement that the people of the Arab worlds were no longer going to take repression, his statement - Setting himself on fire. In public.
Give a man a fire, he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
Also, we saw Andy Carroll and Fernando Torres switch clubs for a combined 85 million pounds. Only for both moves to fail miserably. I haven't seen such a waste of money for two shit subs since I saw the Government decide to share our defenses with The French !

February
I lost my beautiful flowing locks, and decided to get something a bit more "employable" (Cue insults of selling out) Well yes that you, I did. And it's fucking brilliant, I went from this

To this

Good choice I think. Meanwhile in the rapidly escalating Arab spring the resignation of Hosni Mubarak in Cairo brought joy to the people when they found out he had walked................Like an Egyptian (I'm ashamed at myself for actually writing that). Also started playing rugby. So for a sport I've been playing for almost 12 months now I have.........2 starts. Can't wait for my 6 nations debut !


March - The Japanese Tsunami hit killing thousands, tearing infrastructure, devastating a country. But most importantly - giving me a few hours to kill on Sickipedia in college.The UN emergency council vote passed to bomb Libya, sorry, did I say bomb, I meant liberate. What the emergency council basically said was "Gadaffi, you're not allowed to drop bombs in the country you rule. Here ! We'll do it for you ! (I may be taking a few of these statements out of context.)

April Brought us the Royal Wedding. A coming together of our incestuous lizard family in human skin* and the "Commoner" who is so common her parents are self made millionaires and put each one of their kids through private school for the price of a quarter of a million. Each. That fact was actually tough to find because when I searched for "Middleton family assets" it came up with this

Now I've worked out. Pippa is a definite BFB (Better from behind) and Kate is definitely beautiful, but doesn't seem to have much of a figure. SO - if we could literally split the Middletons in half, vertically. So that we have Pippa's back half, and Kates middle half. We'd have a perfect woman. And theoretically one less middle class person in the world,
* (But I am implying it)

May the first brought about the death of the worlds most evil man with Bin Laden finally getting some form of retribution. However the fact that after 10 years, Billions of Dollars, thousands dead in terrorist attacks and unjustified invasions, they found Bin Laden. In his house. Who'd have thought it ?! May also saw the arrest of Ratko Mladić and the world rejoiced as an evil man was brought to justice for the first time in.......Oh. Shit.

Fuck all happened in June. I finished college. If you think I've missed anything important email it to me at Idontgiveafuck@anytimeofthe.day

July -The worlds 2nd artificial organ transplant was successfully performed. (The first being the successful insertion of a Big Blue fist up Nick Cleggs arsehole, I finally justified my existence as a brother by getting my sister tickets for Amy Winehouse. I felt like a fool when I realised she'd died........Even more so when I realised Amy Winehouse had too ! Anders Breivik shot up a camp in Norway killing dozens. But more importantly allowing Newspapers like The Daily Mail and Daily Express run headlines along the lines of " Oslo terrorist is an anti-Muslim extremist who posts lunatic right-wing nonsense on the Internet. " Can't help but feel a small tinge of irony.

August - was a busy month. Not for the Battle of Tripoli, nor is it for the 8th August UK Riots, or Demba Ba finally embarking on his first goal since Ramadan (although it's a close second) But my A Level results. Which allowed me to successfully plan the next 3 years of my life. Champion. Tripoli fell to the Rebels in a bloody civil war that had raged for 6 months. The U.K thought that it ought to show its support for the burning capital of Libya by creating.........A burning Capital of England ? There are far too many fucked up photos and videos that I can laugh at for me to post them. However you're all entitled to look for them. The phrase "shitting in your own nest" does spring to mind though

September - I moved Chester, and discovered the worst thing you can do to an 18 year old lad away from his girlfriend is give him a netbook, free unlimited wifi, and enough money to buy lots of toilet roll.

October - Steve Jobs died of liver failure, and proved that an Apple a day certainly doesnt keep the doctors away. Gaddaf was killed hiding in a tunnel leading to a sewer. 6 months after they were called "Sewer Rats" by Gadaffi for opposing him. Irony isn't wasted on him I see.... Well, it is now seeing as he isn't around to hear it anymore. And with that the "liberators" of Libya David Cameron, Barack Obama and Nikolas Sarkozy were all promised by the new rules that they would not be forgotten for their help (I'm just going to point out that Libya is rich in oil.)
"Spend a penny, gain a pound"
That's all I'm gonna say

November - In November we mourn the loss of three legends. A former inspiration to me, Gary Speed, a former inspiration to me Joe Frazier, and a current inspiration to me, Silvio Berlusconi left office after 17 years, although we shouldn't be surprised, he has shown that he doesn't do anything over 18 years at the best of times !

December - Socrates, another inspiration to me. Passed away, a sportsman who drank more than his fair share of alcohol, but showed up on the pitch and gave his all. We should all aspire to be him
Kim Jong Il died, showing that there is a chance of the existence of Team America. Although with the sudden heart attack in unexpectedly brings the curtain down on his Korea (see what I did there ;) ) and let Kim Jong Un, a man that barely looks like he could run a bath by himself let alone a country. He looks like the little special kid who is given a "special medal" at the end of sports day as compensation for being a squidgy faced retard. It looks like a pug. No features jutting out, a big jowely face, and the pain expression of someone who's just ran into a fucking wall !

All in all, another year of rants all covered now. Hopefully I'll return to full time blogging if people irritate me. Which let's face it, is more often than not. I'm debating deleting my tumblr, because it is full of faggots that flick their beans over whatever band has the latest hair straighteners or tattoos.
Till then. Stay classy.

A Right To Live ? A Right To Die - A look into the reform of assisted suicide/euthanasia in the last half-century

Following the 50^th anniversary of the decriminalisation of suicide, the theme of the premature ending of a human life by their hand still manages to cause an intense level of scrutiny and debate. The issue of euthanasia causes a great deal of controversy from both ends of the spectrum, supporting and opposing the issue. However has society moved forward in its understanding of human life and how it can be compromised in an instant and must be allowed to be up to the individual to decide whether they want to continue a “half-life” or not, or does it still possess the mentality that all life is precious and should always be appreciated, no matter what the individual suffers through? Should a human being give consent to be murdered?

Currently the defence of consent can be successfully raised for all Non fatal offences against the person, up to and including Assault Occasioning Actual Bodily Harm (ABH) found under section 47 of the Offences Against the Persons Act. However in recent years there has been the growing use of consent in a variety of situations which provide an exception, such as heavy contact sports such as boxing, social utility situations such as the T.V shows “Jackass” and “Dirty Sanchez” where Grievous Bodily Harm is regularly committed against between several human beings without being held criminally liable due to it providing entertainment to some. However there is yet to be, in this country, a successful use of the defence of consent for Murder.

Murder. By common law definition set out by Lord Coke in 1797, was stated as “the unlawful killing of a reasonable creature in being and under the Kings Peace with malice aforethought, express or implied”. So it is safe to assume that if another human being gives the other permission to kill them, it satisfies all the required elements of a murder, however there are cases over the years to challenge the word “unlawful” when the issue of consent is raised.

Back in 1969 the Courts stated in the case of Leach that a victim “could never consent to murder, no matter what the circumstances”. However given the circumstances of the case (The victim gave the defendant permission to crucify him on Hampstead Heath, fortunately the victim survived) it could be safe to assume the reason the wording of this ratio decidendi is so harsh. Under section 2(1) of the Suicide Act 1961, it is an offence to assist another in committing suicide. This is what was challenged in the case better known as “Pretty”. Diane Pretty - a motor neurone disease sufferer- applied to the courts for a judicial declaration that her husband would not be liable for murder should he help her commit suicide. The point of law which was attempted to be used for a judicial declaration was Article 2 of the European Convention ('right to life'). However it was refused under and the European Court of Human Rights stated that murder/assisted suicide would not be sanctioned under these circumstances, citing the reasons that article 2 was there to protect human life, and that assisted suicide would still amount to murder. The “right to life” article seemingly infringes on the right to end life. The irony is seemingly lost upon the court.

However there are situations when a person is killed following an act of another. Although it is not a positive act (i.e., the act of injecting excessive morphine, or crucifying in Leach) the act of omitting to do something, which causes a death, has been proven to be allowed under medical professionals, with medical professionals being able to withhold the right to resuscitate patients who show no signs of improving, and who are in a desperate state. These experts in their field know that it is right to allow the patient to cease their suffering, so they omit medical treatment and the patient dies. Yet they are not liable for prosecution. However, this may be due to the point posed in a few sentences previously; it is an omission which fully allows the patient to pass away, not a positive act. This could make the key difference in separating a murderer from an acquitted medical professional

As stated before, there are a large number of opposition groups to the concept of euthanasia, including religions opposition. Christians believe that all life and death is gods will, and that it will be completed at his choice. Not humans. Muslims, the second biggest religious denomination, are also against euthanasia and have the similar belief that their God, Allah, is the one to judge how long a person will live, and that suicide and euthanasia is forbidden as no-one should contemplate suicide because “Surely Allah is ever merciful to you.” : Qur'an 4:29. This covers the opinions of the largest two religious groups in the United Kingdom, so it appears that a religious opposition will be ever-present in a debate over the legality in consent to murder.

Even without religion circling the debate there will always be the question of “Would euthanasia devalue human life?” Clearly this argument has substance behind it as the possibility of legal killing would allow room for more people to end their lives, almost on a whim. Setting a precedent to society that if there is a problem in your life, it is easy and relatively painless to end it. Devaluing human life is something which can provoke an emotion from even the coldest of hearts, and to the “reasonable and sober man” (a key term when talking about objectiveness) they would not wish to see a human life go to waste due to a legal way to allow another to kill them.

Currently, in Europe only two countries have euthanasia legalised, Netherlands and Switzerland, the latter of which is home to the Dignitas clinic, which specialises in assisted suicides using medical professionals. Outside Europe, America has slowly started to demonstrate an understanding on the issue of euthanasia with the case of Baxter v. Montana of 2009, where it was decided that despite it not being a right for a physician to aid in suicide, there was nothing in the federal law which made physician-aided suicide against public policy. This, in combination with the U.S cases of Washington vs. Glucksberg and Gonzales vs. Oregon state that physician aid in suicide attempts is not illegal. So even in the conservative states of Montana and Oregon euthanasia is being decriminalised (although there are substantial requirements for the medication to be prescribed and administered), yet Europe are still slow on the uptake in its refusal for reform.

Euthanasia bills have been drafted and attempted to be passed through the Scottish parliament. Known as the “Assisted Dying Bill” was brought forward by a Parkinson’s disease suffering SMP (Margo McDonald) under the official title of "End of Life Assistance Bill". However the bill, under intense opposition from the largest denomination in Scotland (The Church of Scotland) it was defeated in parliament 85 votes to 16.

However in 2009 one of the largest steps towards decriminalising assisted suicide was made after a series of legal challenges by Miss Debbie Purdy, a Multiple Sclerosis sufferer (MS is a degenerative illness which eventually results in a loss of walking ability for most sufferers) where the law on assisted dying was clarified. Assisting someone to die is still illegal, and will be investigated by the police, however, The decision to prosecute will be based on the nature of the victim’s illness as well as other factors, and discretion will be used in their handling of the case.

To sum up, the law on euthanasia is slowly developing to give it a more lenient outlook on someone who is asking for the assistance in dying, consent is still not able to be used fully as a defence however advances in the law means that day may be nearer than most think. As for assisted suicide clinics here in Britain, there could possibly be a number of guidelines which must be followed, such as the prognosis for the patients wanting their lives to be ended rather than suffer the pain of a long, drawn out death, or allowing their own bodies to become their prisons. However due to the amount of religious opposition, and the fact Britain is not a secular country means that we are not likely to expect a UK branch of Dignitas anytime soon.

The law on suicide has made terrific developments in the last 50 years. Here’s to the next 50.

This Is Wank (or reasons why This Is War is the worst album I've ever had the displeasure of listening to.)

In my time of listening to music on a regular basis, I've found some moments which completely leave me speechless. For example Bullet for my Valentine's debut album "The Poison" Which ranks as one of my favourite albums of all time, the opening crunches of "Master of Puppets" is another. And another, is the entire album of 30 Seconds To Mars' "This Is War".

This

This time last year I had only heard the title track from the album and Kings and Queens. And oh how I wish to the invisible beard man that it'd stayed that way. Because I decided that, against my better judgement, to listen to this album.
Big. Mistake.
Aside from those two aforementioned tracks, I have had shits with more quality inside 3 minutes than a track from that album. I cannot understand what possessed Jared Leto to think that

• Monks chanting
• Harmonious crowd vocals on a studio record. Seriously, why ? Save it for the live album.
  
• Preaching about war on a rock record
• Excessive synths which would make Kraftwerk think "bloody hell that's a bit too much"

Were all good ideas ?
then I realise....
It's Jared Leto's ego.
Yes, the same ego which forces his band members to their own little sections on stage whilst he prances around (usually shirtless, causing all 16 year old fangirls who like their album because it "speaks the truth about the bad side of human nature" to climax the second he floats around stage like the jackass he is.
This is the same Jared Leto who directed a 13 minute video that told absolutely no story whatsoever, it was literally just a bunch of semi naked models, him in a coffin, and Kanye West rapping with a tiny bit of the song. Seriously, search "30stm hurricane".

I'm listening to this album again, to make sure that I'm not sensationalising anything I write, that I could've made it a bit worse in my head than what it actually was. But no, as I sit here listening to Stranger in A Strange Land, I can honestly say that, given the choice of justifying the quality of this albums songs, and justifying the Einsatzgruppen in the Warsaw Ghettos in the 1940's, I find myself drawn to Herr Himmler and his boys.

The video for "Closer to the Edge" has to be the most infuriating thing I have seen on this planet, I have actually broken a plastic cup that was in my hand due to the CHILD in the video saying "I wish that there was no such thing as fighting, that everyone could just, get along. But that's gonna happen, is it?" THEN SHE LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AS IF THAT SPEECH IS GOING TO STOP ALL THE WARS IN THE WORLD WITH A SIMPLE PATRONISING SCOLDING FROM A 13 YEAR OLD FUCKING CHILD!!!
Look love, as long as I have a hole in my arse, there will be wars. Shut the fuck up and deal with it. Fucking Miss World Candidate "oh, I just want world peace and an end to hunger"

As I find the rage spilling out of me like the blood out of Leto's face when he is hit with an axe in American psycho (strangely enough my favourite scene, who'd have guessed it eh ?) I realise that people will disagree with me, however, people are entitled to opinions, and who am i to argue with them (despite the fact that I will) and for my closing statement I will make a lovely generalisation that could be quite accurate.

This Is War is to Music, what the Holocaust was to Human Rights.

Thank you, goodnight, and listen to some real fucking music.
CAW

Eurotrash

That time of year is upon us again. The moments that will live on in our memories for about 2 weeks. Then they become another has been that degraded themselves upon an audience of millions.
Yes, Britains Got Talent is on our screens once again !
Just kidding, although that is about as much fun as a slow testicular dip into battery acid.
The times where the ol' Soviet Union vote for each other in the obligatory back patting/ don't bomb us please routine that we're now used to seeing.
I'm not actually watching it, as I'm far too busy listening to real music (Foo Fighters on BBC 3.) But I know how it'll go. Moldova, Ukraine, Belarus, Serbia etc will all give the maximum points to the old Soviet Union states. Because let's face it, that's where all the talented singers come from. Definitely not because they're all a set of corrupt bastards.

Sorry, I'm realising this is just money for old rope. This point of view isn't a particularly new one, it's been shared by the mass British public for about a decade now. However what hasn't been given too much of a cynical point of view is the superinjunctions which have been in the news lately.
***SPOILER ALERT***

It's allegedly (I actually have to put that word in due to me knowing law and which words will get me sued) RYAN GIGGS who's been knobbing Imogen Thomas, you know. This lass....

Aye, her. So it's apparently Ryan Giggs who's the devoted family man/ premier league star.
Who knows.
In other news when Osama Bin Ladens compound was raided they found porn videos which belonged to the former Al-Qaeda leader. Or, in other terms, he Sky+'d the Grand National (if you don't get that joke you shoud be shot whilst hiding behind your 20 year old wife...)
Don't really have much else to say. I'm too busy watching the God-like Genius that is Dave Grohl on BB3.

A quick question on religion

If Saint Peter was a miracle worker who ALLEGEDLY walked on water with Jesus. And who washed Jesus' feet, and who fought for Jesus as he was being arrested.

Why the fuck was he given the job of staying just outside of heaven for 2000 years (if you believe the bible) whilst undergoing the emotional trauma of rejecting people from the kingdom of heaven forever whilst never getting inside heaven itself.

No sick days, no days off due to him being the sole guardian of the pearly gates for 2. Thousand. Years

Him, forever alone. mere metres outside the kingdom of eternal happiness for 2 Milleniums. Watching everyone frolick and dance with joy as they spend eternity in bliss while he's sending people to damnation.

Where is your all forgiving benevolent beard man now ?

Apathy Inc.

You know you've became lazy when you can barely be arsed to write a blog about the first voting system reform in your country in centuries. When one of the worlds most wanted men is left with a bullet in his head, and when your incestuous overlords welcome one more person into their warped entourage...

But alas, here we go, on another rant about three things that can always be argued froma cynics point of view...
So the U.Ks second voting referendum in its history comes along on Thursday, and I will be voting in my first ever election. I'm personally going to love how many/few councils the Liberal Democrats are left with after this. Welcome to political Siberia Nicky, you'll be here for a while...
The "no" campaign is a one of patronising garbage, with the mass British public seemingly taken for idiots who are unable to write down their preference for votes. I mean, I suppose it's udnerstandable isn't it. I mean, not everyone can pick their favourite candidates/political party out of a list and rank them accordingly. It's utter bollocks quite frankly. And unfortunately, due to the publics political apathy and a well funded campaign to ridicule the idea that our MP's must have a majority of support, chances are us Brits haven't took the time to work out how AV works, and has just accepted that it's complicated.
Oh, one more thing about AV, this poster really fucks me off.
So the country can't afford a new voting system, yet it can afford approximately 2 billion pounds to privatise (sorry, "reform") the National Health Service. Fuck off Cameron.
I'm voting yes on Thursday, because I actually value democracy.

Right, so Osama Bin Laden was killed in the early hours of the morning, which I thought was weird, as I'm sure they're not meant to take out Bins on a bank holiday (you can see where this section is going....) And so with all that, after 10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden.

In his house.

Although that does show you what Americans can truly do once they get off their Playstations for a bit.... although I suspect they have found him due to his details being retrieved from that hack. However I'm looking at this now with cynical shaded glasses.
The Pakistani government has a less than clean record, with terrorism rife in its society. Sorry, it's true. And for the worlds most wanted man to be living 35 miles outside their capital city, 100 metres away from a military base in a slightly conspicuous compound with 12 foot high walls, reeks of foul play. Although give these asians some credit. I suppose it's hard spotting a 6"5 arab man in a turban wandering round with military personnell. hmmm. Oh, and big up to Obama for finally using the information he's had SINCE AUGUST and using it just months before his campaign for re-election begins...

Thank God Bin Laden's dead though, I was getting sick of the royal wedding. Which links me onto my next topic, because 35 million pounds spent on a mans wedding that is only large due to birthright seems a trifle unfair on society. Although I am inclined to take back this statement if it has indeed brought more than that amount into the British economy, however, there will always be a moment from that wedding which will stay long in my heart.
Was it the elegant Kate Middleton walking down the aisle ?
Was it Prince Harry looking nervous as Williams best man ?
Or was it The Queen standing there with the "Yes, that's right fuckers, worship me !" As the crowds sung "God Save The Queen"?
No. It was this....
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you. The highlight of the Royal wedding !
I don't actually want to talk anymore about the Royal Wedding, as I am currently in awe of perfection. Pippa Middleton. On behalf of men everywhere. Thank you.

Right, I think I've ranted enough. I'm now off to try and beat Osamas record at hide and seek. Although Maddie has a few years head start on me :/
Let's do this shit. CAW