Adieu

And that's the end of it.
No, not my blogs, sorry to dissapoint you all but they'll continue until I either A - Die, or B - find loving and eternal happiness with my fellow man.
So the more likely outcome is option A.
The "end " to which I'm referring to is the end of the college year for me
You may think, that whilst the worlds greatest sporting event is on, I'd find it hard to be hateful
You may also think, that after seeing AC/DC, crowdsurfing to Bullet For My Valentine and A Day To Remember, I would find no reason to show resentment to the world.
And you may finally think that given the fact I'm seeing Green Day in 6 days time, the future looks bright.

Well, on all accounts, you'd be wrong.

Let's face it, the world is still a pretty contemptuous place, with the main venom this week being attracted towards pensioners, and "The end"
Pensioners first. Some of them are great, in fact, there is a lot of good about pensioners. However, the ones who annoy me are the ones that think because their balls/tits go past their knees, the world should treat them differently
NO PENSIONERS!!!
You will be treat with the same way I treat every other human being. With contempt.
And if that pisses you off because "Young people today have no respect for their elders" you are probably wrong, because young people do have respect for their elders in the same way they respect other people. Earn it to get it.
You do not earn respect by being openly racist on public transport, and by pushing in the queue in greggs, and by showing the basic human decency of letting someone through in a queue in first freeze when all they have is a can of pop and the pensioner has an entire weeks worth of shopping, subsequently making them late to his lesson
Old people should be smothered as soon as they become one of "those" type of pensioners, aka the complaining ones who are just frankly rude to other people.



On a just as depressing note, my exams finished the other day, and whilst that in itself was a happy note, it made me think about most of the people who I won't see through the holidays. Bad times. Especially when a lot of the friends I've made at college are absolutely top drawer.
It takes me back to my last year at Blyth Community College. I made some of the most influential friends I ever thought possible, friends who brought me out my shell, friends who turned me into the horrically offensive excuse for a human being I am now. And friends who I've left behind.
And friends who I haven't seen, in some cases, in a year. Now this is pretty shit for me, seeing as how I consider them pretty big influences in my personality.
And now the same will be for my college mates, only not as big of a gap. This, will suck more than Jodie Marsh on a first date. Coupled with the fact I will inevitably drop a subject where I have really good mates in.
The whole point of the blog is to say that the things in life which are (to me, this week) fucking shit, are pensioners and bidding adieu to people.
To end this blog, I'm not going to use my usual phrase. I'll end it with this.
I may slag BCC off, but I spent 3 years of my life there, and will always miss most of the friends I made there, whether they hate me these days or not.
CAW XX
P.s - Rob Green would still be my number 1, every keeper makes mistakes. And if I hear a vuvuzela in Blyth I will find the owner, bend him over a bench, pull his pants down and stick that fecking trumpet up his arse, and let his farts blow the bastarding thing next time.

Labyrinth

Well, it looks like the end is nigh for our friends here.
He's finding it hard to keep his head, especially with that girl screaming in his ear
We've gotta ask ourselves, do they deserve this ?
It's a minute to make your mind up o clock, speak now or forever hold your peace.


Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Used generally at weddings, although in this blog, the usage of the phrase will be about holding your tongue and bitching.


We'll start off with something I know I wanted t talk about, then hopefully the hatred and resentment for society will spill out of me like blood from an ebola victim.
Formsprings - I can understand the initial attraction of wanting one, anonymity means that people will not be scared of the reprecussions of saying "I would do unspeakable things to you" meaning the writer of the statement would not be embarassed, whilst the recipient would get a compliment
HOWEVER, Newtons third law of Motion comes into play here
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
This isn't just true for motion, I believe that society has this, a lot like Karma.
So for every nice comment on these formsprings, you will always get one person going "You're gay...................you fucking sicken me" (only with poorer grammar, as homophobic people generally have a looser grasp on the english language)
People with formspring accounts these days generally do confuse me quite a bit, as they've seen what some people have had done to them ( Like my girlfriends best friend, and a gay lad in my history class). So why have an account when you know people are just going to attempt to make your day shit ?
I mean howay!?!?, making your life seem shit is my job ;)
The next bit of my blog was about an argument I got into over music, but then I had a epiphany, and the realisation I'm not going to be petty and bitch about someone in a blog, after I have just slagged off people for being cunts online when they dont have the balls to say it

The phrase at the start of the blog is a phrase which rings true to me.
Speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Basically, say whatever is on your mind, because if you hold back, you'll regret it yourself
and it you say something harsh without making your identity known, you're a coward.

The reason this blog isn't as hate filled as normal, is because I've discovered something rare for me. Happiness.
This holiday has been epic, here's a quick list about what I got up to.

• Ive basked in the sun eating chinese food with my girlfriend
• I've witnessed the best unsigned band I've ever seen
• I've been at a barbeque in the sun with a beer in one hand and a reggae reggae burger in the other
• I've seen old friends
• I've made new friends
• There was even a bear
  

(Awful joke, I'm aware of that, sorry :P )
I even did a bit of revision :O

Basically.The world, for once, is a good place.
Sorry for the lack of cynicism, but I just dont feel hateful today
CAW xx

Anarchy In The U.K

*WARNING, LONG BLOG AHEAD!!*

I am an Antichrist.
I am an Anarchist
Dont know what I want, and I know how to get it
I wanna destroy, the passer by

This weeks blog - fascism and political extremes

The passers by being, in this case. Immigrants.
Not by me, nononononon. But by our good friends, you know them, I know them, the Muslims know them. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up, for the
ENGLISH
DEFENCE
LEEEEEEAAAAGUE!!!!
Well, anyone who is familiar with the city of Newcastle will have known that there was protests on this Saturday between the EDL and Unite Against Fascism.
It was all a bit daft, seeing as how the EDL are an extreme right wing group of football hooligans and racists looking for a bit of a fight.
and UAF are a group of uber hippies looking to stop them by any means necessary.
This is the part I dont understand is this, the UAF are doing whatever they can to stop the EDL promoting fascism, by holding protests, marches, etc. However, isn't this a little bit fascist in itself, in the sense that by stopping peoples freedom of speech to the point where they are not allowed to broadcast their own (totally fucked up and racist) views.
However, this protest on Saturday was immense, I've never seen so many police officers and vans in my entire life. It was at the point where I thought things were really going to get out of hand, so I read this missus the riot act "If it kicks off, you're getting to a metro station straight away, no questions"

Fortunately the march had ended, and so were safe for the time being.
Then, I overheard someone say "blah blah, what we're doing is right, we're protecting the English culture"
At this point I wanted to turn around and point out that we have been invaded by several civilisations

• The Romans
  
• The Vikings
• Anglo Saxons
• Normans
  

And the Countries that have invaded us are even larger

• Italy ( Romans)
• Germans (Anglo Saxons)
• Denmark (A.S)
• Netherlands (A.S)
• Denmark AGAIN -This time it was those damn vikings
• Norway - Vikings
• France - Normans
  

So you see, this "English Culture" is a myth.

We are not the Ayran race.
We are the Bastardised spawn of anyone who was successfully able to conquer us.

Oh, and finally, watched a documentary about the EDL whilst doing my research for this blog, came across these lovely screenshots for you all.
Bearing in mind, the EDL are trying to promote the fact that they are a "Peaceful organisation" This to me, highlights the distinct difference between EDL supporters and general strong left wing believers.
Do these people look well educated to you ?? Didn't think so.
Neither did the people doing the marches on Saturday, and neither did the ones overheard in Newcastle.
Whereas left wing views will generally be from students. Students who are continuing their education to a high degree, and know how the world works, and that immigration, in small doses, is a good thing
Want proof of the EDL's beautiful grasp of grammar* and intelligence, here's the next photo for you.

*I'm aware my grammar or punctuation isn't perfect, but it's relatively intelligent.
Yes ladies and gents "Far right piece of coward commie bastard."
A- Far right - UAF is a left wing party
B- Coward - this man is the head of UAF, and whilst I disagree with extremism in any form, he at least attends some protests
C - The grammar in his insult = fail.

And finally, the statement of "Coward" given to the bloke just above, here is the "Courageous" members of the EDL doing what they do bestYeah, they call this bloke a coward, yet refuse to show their full faces. Hypocrites.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, sorry for the lack of humour, but this was a politcal party broadcast from the Kill it with fire party
Till then.
The world's not a bad place, extremists just make it look that way CAW XX

Famous Last Words

Yes, I was listening to MCR. And I'm as ashamed of myself as you all are of me.
Following last weeks blog aimed at one seperate subculture of society (Charvers) I've found that one long non-sensical rant seems to get the approval of most of the people reading my blogs.
In this blog, I think I'll aim my blog/rant/muttering at the media.

Let's begin.
Last week, Lord Triesman (the head of the F.A) was caught saying that he believes Spain and Russia would bribe referees in the world cup. This was caught by a woman (Insert mysogynistic comment here) who had an alleged affair with Triesman. Where does this link to the media?? I hear you say, well. The Daily Fascism, woops, sorry, I mean Daily Mail paid this woman £75,000 to entrap this bloke, and to publish the story.

This woman and right wing rag could cost the British Economy 3 billion pound

This is because the English FA are trying to launch a bid to host the 2018 world cup, and since the (then ) head of the English Football Association. And having someone accuse another competitor of corruption is quite a serious business.
Could the Daily Mail keep this to themselves, could they fuck.
They decided to publish this article, to sell a few more papersto a few more bigots (oh no, I called someone a bigot, watch the media string me up.)
In publishing this they may have lost England the hosting of the world cup, which would have brought 3 billion pound in from the revenue.
Well done, you racist,bigoted, treacherous set of national traitors.

Next up
The Sun
Rant not needed, we all know it's shit.

And finally
Sky News, owned by the ever cuntish Rupert Murdoch. As usual, a typically right wing biased source of "information". A generally unprofessional organisation (I mean how competent can you be, when Eamonn Holmes fronts one of your flagship broadcasts, fucking Manc Pikey Bastard)
And yes, my blogs are biased, but that's only because I'm an amateur blogger, and allowed to be partial
Observe,
THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY ARE FUCKING CUNTS AND WILL TAKE BRITAIN BACK INTO A RECESSION

:D

But, I did enjoy how a Labour politician made the Conservative political broadcaster of sky news rage like a mutherfucker the day after the election.
Observe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZm5cm0ZtL4

He madddddd :D
Right, bored of this now, been a pretty boring day. Not helped by the frankly shit Champions League final
The worlds not a shit place, Right wing media make it seem that way
CAW xx

The Poison.

This was not the original title I wanted to name this blog.
I initially wanted to title this blog as "Charvers are illiterate fucking cunts" but thought that was too stereotypical (that and the fact I was unable to find a song that was remotely close to this choice)
If you have been reading my Facebook ( Which to be fair, is where most of my blogs get linked) You will know that this weeks blog is about the social lowlife that is, Charvers.
These socially inept waste of space are living proof that, in the long run, spunk is sometimes better swallowed.
However, since making stereotypes is apparently wrong, I now feel obligated to say that there may be some good charvers out there, there is hope that natural selection will shine on them and hopefully create a small brood of mini-charvs that contribute to society and help old ladies across the road, without forcefully taking money off them.
Somehow, I doubt it though.

NOWWWW, IT'S TIME, FOR THE MAAAAAAAIIIIIIN EVENTTTTTTTT !!!!!

On the bus back from Newcastle, I was atop of a double decker bus, and since all the "good seats" were taken (the front ones and the back ones), I decided to stick with the social norm and found a seat which was away from everyone else.The back seats of the bus were taken up by three people.
These people.
Were Charvers.
The names are irrelevant. But the decision to sit at the back was without a doubt, one of the best decisions I had made in my entire bus journey back to Blyth.
The blog will now consist of extracts from the conversations by the Dolewalling bastards. If you do not like it. Click away onto porn or something else just as worthwhile. If you like laughing at people who are medically fine, but intellectually, a bit "lacking" then sit back, pull up a nice comfortable sitting position, and enjoy.

These Conversations extracts are as true as I can remember, with the amount of offensive language being as close to 100% accurate.

Man known in this blog, as Curtis (roughly 22 years old)-"Where's me fucking phone"
Woman known as Crystal ( Who still had a school uniform on, so at most, 16 Y.O) " I dont know where your fucking phone is"
Curtis - You fucking do, I fucking gave it to you, you fucking daft cunt
Cry - No you fucking didn't, so shut the fuck up
Cur -Dont you fucking start !!
Cry - I'm not fucking starting.
Cur -Dont you fucking start, I gave you my phone
Cry- I'm not fucking starting, No you fucking didn't
*This goes on for about 5 minutes, the language getting increasingly blue*
Silence..........
Curtis - Found me phone, it was in me back pocket.


10 minutes later
Crystal - I can do what I want, I've got the fucking money (bearing in mind she is a 16 Year Old schoolgirl
Curtis - Don't fucking bullshit, no you dont.
Crystal -..................................Me Mams got the money.

Who says charvers are spongers :O ??

Ten Minutes later
Curtis - Who you fucking texting ?
Crystal - Me Ma
Cur - Are ye fuck man
Cry - Yes I fucking am. Here, look *Shows Cuntis the phone*
Cur - Whey, how do I know this is it, you could've deleted it as soon as I asked (bearing in mind he snapped mere seconds after she got the text)
Cry - I fucking doubt it.
Cur - Whey I can't see your phone from there, you fucking spakkaaaaa

*At this point the third charver on the bus makes his voice heard, sort of.*
Chrisssssyy - Haaawhawwwwwwww (you all know the Charver laugh that I'm on about.)
Cur - If you're texting Jess again...
Cry - I'm not fucking texting Jess,besides, she's me mate anyway
Cur -If I ever see you with Jess, I'll fucking twat you.

Charvers- Domestically abusing girlfriends 5 years their juniors since 2010

Oh, And when driving past a First School, the quiet Charver decided to shout
"AHA, ST PAULS CATHOLIC SCHOOL, FUCKING SCUM, ****** IS BETTER!!!!"
This insult was shouted, at a first school. Yes ladies and gents, a Man, who looked about early 20's was mocking, a First School.
A Fecking First School.
I thought School rivalries went out of the window when your balls dropped ?.
And finally, the last extract of the worlds most hilarious bus journey.
The bus stop finally came , where the Twattish Trio finally left our "glorious" public transport system. It was then that I finally saw them. The two lads were dressed exactly how I'd expect a twenty year old Charver to dress.

• Adidas classis hoodies (both of them)
• Tattered jeans
• And one of them was even clutching a half empty Lambrini bottle

Classy.

And as they finally went downstairs, the swearing continued. Still as classy as ever, referring to each other as "fucking cunts" and it was at this point a man, who's name and face I will never know, did somethine which has given me a little bit of hope in the human race:

Random Bloke - Excuse me mate, can you tone down your language, I've got a bairn here who doesn't need to hear it
Cuntis - WHAAAT?!?!?!, I'm not fucking doing anything you stupid twat
Random - You are, you're swearing lots in front of my little'un
Cuntis - Fuck off (as he walks towards the bloke)

* It was at this point a scuffle broke out, and as I did not have a good look, I can only assume that Curtis was finally twatted, as when he got off the bus, he had a lovely red mark on his face :) *
The Charvers then retreated to their lovely little council houses, whilst making threatening gestures to the bloke who just wanted to keep his bairn away from the social scum that are Charvers.
I think this just about covers it. I hope you all enjoyed the Adventures of Curtis and Crystal.
And one or two final message to charvers.
"Over there is a fire, I suggest you go and die in it"
And my personal favourite
"Why don't you go and do something useful with your life. Like end it."
The Worlds not a shit place, it's just that Charvers make it seem that way CAW XX

All Hope Is Gone

Was there an election on ??




Lol jk, I know there was
Speaking of which.Bandwagons are still shit, stop making them.

Well Fuck.Me.Sideways.

I woke up this morning to a few angry texts about some group of peoples called the Conservatories that had won some house on this game show thingy, where the three finalists had to stand facing each other for 3 x 90 minute job interviews and try to send each other into fits of uncontrollable rages and/or tears.
*Gets someone who knows about politics to help write the blog*

Right, where were we ??
Oh yeah, The Conservative party, led by the Eton tutored Toff David William Donald "just call me Dave" Cameron, and that odious little cretin George Osbourne win 307 seats, which, in Lay mans terms (I only just found out what that meant last night) is "a decent amount". As opposed to what they needed to win the election outright, which (again in laymans terms) could only be described as "a shitload."
And now this leads us to the hung Parliament which we have now.
No clear leader. No single policies set out.No hope.
Or so it seems....
The Liberal Democrats have failed to capitalise on their "Cleggmania" and fucked that up royally, to the point where they lost seats. Hahahaha.Fuckwits. So now they are in bed with Mr Cameron (not a nice thought is it.)
To stop this being a political narrative, I'll explain the jist/gist of the election in bullet points :

• Tories are now sucking Lib Dem dick to try to get their majority.
• If they do, the Tories will get into power.
• Tories = bad.
• Gordon Brown = good.
• Thatcher = Cunt.
• E = Mc2.

If people are yet to understand my glaring contempt of the Conservatives. I will explain it in these very handy bullet points :

• I'm from Blyth, a former mining town
• Thatcher bent the mining towns over a table and fucked them till every good, hard working bloke was out of a job.
• Thatcher was a tory.
• And a cunt.
• The Conservatives generally look after the middle classes upwards.And I'm poor.

BAD TORIES!!!! (have I not made this clear??)
Yes, I know Cameron isn't Thatcher, but at the same time, he's a fucking close comparison these days. As he allegedly "Admired her handling of the Unions." Bad omens.
Oh, and here's a good little story for you's.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/8118468.Cameron_says_state_spending_must_be_cut_in_North_East/

Oh well, it's all in the past now, chances are, a Conservative government is imminent. I could not do anything myself, seeing as how ;
A- I'm not old enough to vote, and
B - My constituency is so solidly Labour you could put a red rosette on David Cameron himself and he'd win it for Labour (this may explain my staunch Labour-ism, if there is such a word)
I think we're about finished here kiddies.
I'll just sum it up with an opinion on Mr Cameron, and indeed, ALL politicians. It is a lyric taken from the song which this blog is named after
"A broken promise is as good as a lie." Corey Taylor - 2008
Till then,
The Country's not a shit place, but under a Tory government, it will be. CAW xx

Pretty On The Outside.

So just take off that disguise, everyone knows that you're only.
Pretty on the outside!
Taken from Bullets new album. A fucking good listen :)

Anyhoooo.Three issues, three rants, and three more nights...(the latter will be explained at the bottom)

Popular Music, Popular Figures, and Popular Opinions in general.

Popular music - I generally dont understand the concept of the popular music industry, if there was anything more fake and unflattering. Whilst I understand that the music industry is a business above everything else, must it persist in funneling this shite into our televisions. I mean, lately, the mainstream is filled with the following:

• An X factor Reject (says it all really)
• A "rapper" who's ghetto name is not anything like "Blud" or "Gat". No, his c-rapper name is "Chipmunk." For.Fuck.Sake...............Cunt.
  
• A "Singer" who's career has only became a musical one due to the fact she stars in a Dinsey channel show, and therefore will have lots of mindless Disney drones buying/downloading her song.
• Lady Gaga - 'Nuff said.
• Glee Cast - Read above.
• Justin Beiber - Read two posts up.
• Ellie Goulding - An English singer with the voice of an Irish pixie being Sodomised.

And That's just the top twenty. We'll do a quick estimate, how many of these singers/bands/artists will be around in TEN years time ?
Nah, too far, how about. How many of these artists will be around in FIVE years time ?
Still pushing it a bit.How about in TWO years time ?
The answer- not many. We'll focus on Lady Gaga, the only thing original about her is a dress sense, which is surprisingly enough, not the thing which makes music.The thing which makes music ( AKA - The voicebox, the Larynx, the Ol Shit Spouter) sounds totally unoriginal. If you disagree, then I suggest you listen to anything by Gwen Stefani, as I personally believe Lady Gaga to be nothing else but Gwen Stefani with a very odd dress sense.....................And a dick.

Popular figures - Sue.
For fuck sake Sue.You useless bitch.Why did you put Gordon with that "Bigoted woman". What were you playing at ? Putting a woman with a Scottishman, personally I think she got off lightly, I'd have told her to fuck off.
Everyone is surprised that Gordon Brown has ruined the housing industry and caused a severe National debt.I dont see why people are so surprised, the Jocks have been attacking our land and robbing our coffers since the days of William Wallace. Still..........FOR FUCK SAKE SUE!!!!

Popular Opinions - David Cameron won the final leaders debate, discuss ??
Alexander Johnson is running for "Second Student Governor". So with the help of my and Jonny's policies he can't lose (some of the policies include "Free Ian Huntley" and " Rename Campus to "Poontang Corner."" How can you not wanna vote for this beautiful Ginny Weasley lookalike :)
Oh, and finally.Congratulations on Callum Heslop for making it to his Seventeenth birthday without someone hunting him down and slitting his throat.
OH!!!, and the "three more nights" is because I have a job interview at McDonalds.I'm lovin it :) , so to speak ;)
Till then
The world's not a shit place, I just make it seem that way CAW xx